Tuesday, September 9, 2014

FULLTHROTTLELAZY #64: Pez Dispenser on Full Auto


Joey Secretmenu and Tommy Nickname come together once again to discuss how to tell if the Oi! band you’re listening to are Nazis or not, as Joe misremembers Disney lyrics and Tommy starts thinking we’re the fucking BBC or something. With music from Inadaptats, Scumheads, Charles Albright and more! Tracklisting after the break.


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Monday, September 8, 2014

Anonymous said: recently i discovered i'm trans and now i'm trying not to die cuz i could maybe possibly be happy someday, but it's kind of fucking hard

All the luck in the world with that. I know that on tumblr and other places on the internet there are good people (punx and not) who have gone through and are going through that same tough shit you are going through and can probably offer you way better, sharper, harsher, warmer, keener advice than anything I could ever say as I will probably just lapse into punk rock platitudes immediately. Like ‘don’t let the wankers grind you down’, and ‘live to fuck off non-punx’. Do whatever it takes to get yourself through it, from starting a sweet fucking inept rawpunk band, to writing a zine, to deciding never ever to listen to Discharge ever again and buying only Kenny G albums for the rest of time, to singing folk songs, to tattooing HARD CUNT on your forehead, whatever it takes to work it out, however abstract or direct, however punk or not, and I know that you will do it, cos while this may be hard as hell, it is not as hard as you.

Once again I remain faintly baffled, kinda terrified and pretty honoured that people come to me with shit like this, shit that I would definitely qualify as ‘super real shit’ when I am mainly good at dealing with the jokey ephemera of way unreal shit. If you really decide that I’m the one you need to talk to about that, no fucking problem, be aware that I remain though a dumb cunt straight cis white boy who is mainly good at having lots of opinions about the Ramones. And I will definitely fuck something up. As, I’m sure, will you at some point, but you can kick past that, we all can, and damn motheefucking right you will be happy someday.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Anonymous said: I can barely make connections with other people and I can't get a fucking job to fill in the time between studying for uni, sleeping and eating. I've never gotten laid and the only thing I have going for me are excellent fucking grades that don't even matter. I can't listen to music anymore because every fucking song I listen to is about shit I can't relate to or understand. I'm eighteen and is this punk rock, because I don't know anymore.

Somehow I have received a query from my 18 year old self. I honestly don’t know what advice to give because my method of “really feel like utter shit for a few years and fuck up your degree, feel like shit for a few more years until you almost accidentally make enough friends to deal with stuff and finally get a job that doesn’t make you want to die every day” probably wasn’t the optimum way to deal with that situation. 

I dunno. Find something you do like and keep doing it. Speak to someone, a professional, maybe. Get out of your own head a bit. Get a goal and focus on it. Find some music that’s not about anything you’ve ever listened to before. For me, punk rock was just about enough to pull me through, no idea if it will be for you. I’m sure this is the same tedious bullshit a bunch of people will tell you but that’s all I’ve got, sorry. I genuinely feel your pain.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Anonymous said: fucking every single aspect of your life up to the point where it's almost a fuckin joke, if it wasn't horribly, gut-wrenchingly depressing

That’s a very long way of spelling ‘punk rock’.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Anonymous said: I can't find your review of Gaslight Anthem's 'Handwritten' and need it to restore my sanity. Help?


Sunday, March 9, 2014

relativesadness said: that Lita Ford song blows and always gets in the way of hearing the FAR SUPERIOR Generation X song with the same title.

"I went to a party last Saturday night/I didn’t get laid, I got in a fight” is the greatest opening couplet ever apart from Apocalypse Hoboken’s Girl. 

Anonymous said: How do you successfully parent a teenager in a punk rock manner?

I honestly have no fucking clue. Good luck though.

PS I bet Cock Sparrer’s Because You’re Young hits pretty fucking hard now, doesn’t it?

Anonymous said: What is the most punk rock non-punk rock song?

There are a lot of great options to go with but the only true answer is Kiss Me Deadly by Lita Ford.

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Anonymous said: Iggy Pop?

Yes when he duets with Ke$ha. No when he sells insurance.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Anonymous said: Rank all 8 of the Ramones in order from punkest to least punk.

1. Dee Dee
2. Joey
3. Tommy
4. Richie
5. CJ
6. Johnny 
7. Marky 
8. Elvis